It’s tempting to spy on your partner online. After all, it’s anonymous and oh-so easy to just do a quick check of MySpace or Facebook. But “MyStalking” and “Facestalking” can drive even a levelheaded person nuts. Although profiles seep with private details, they don’t tell the whole story — and a misinterpretation can shake up a relationship. Here are five tips on how couples can stay sane — and together — on MySpace and Facebook.
-- Jasmin Aline Persch";
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Talk about it — ASAP
If you find something suspicious on your partner’s MySpace or Facebook profile, talk to them — now. This will clear the air before a cyber illusion sparks problems. But there’s an art to addressing the issue. “You have to be very careful not to accuse somebody when you don’t have enough information,” warns Jamie Turndorf, relationship psychologist and creator of dr.love.com. So your partner doesn’t feel attacked, Turndorf suggests using a disclaimer: “I’m not trying to attack you ...” Then, just talk about your feelings — what bugged you and why. ";
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Show and tell your profiles
Sitting down with your new boyfriend or girlfriend for a show-and-tell session of your profiles could help avoid confusion — and unnecessary heartache, suggests dating expert Diane Mapes. People often put their best cyber self forward on MySpace and Facebook, and it’s easy for especially an insecure special someone to get jealous over hot friends. Online introductions can solve problems before they start.";
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Take your time
You may be curious what MySpace and Facebook can tell you about your new love. But beware: “Often, you don’t find something that makes you feel closer but makes you run in the opposite direction,” says dating expert Diane Mapes. Everybody has dirty secrets, but they could overburden a young relationship. Save the serious stuff for later. If MySpace or Facebook is giving you TMI on your honey, maybe it’s time to log out.";
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Keep your page presentable
People use MySpace and Facebook profiles to say: This is me! But the photo of you silly-drunk and slung around your ex may not represent the best you to your new partner. “When relationships are new and fresh, they can be fragile,” says dating expert Diane Mapes. Although you can’t control what others post about you, you can largely control the private details that make up your cyber image. If something unfavorable gets out there, you may have some explaining to do. But out of respect for your honey, you might want to filter what you can.";
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Trust your gut
Before MySpace and Facebook, suspicious lovers used an even more sophisticated tool to suss out cheating partners: their gut. “If somebody seems like a creep or disrespectful, your gut is your best guide,” says dating expert Diane Mapes. So if you have the bad kind of butterflies in your stomach, maybe it’s time to call it quits, she says. That saves you the trouble of doing major detective work online."; // END editorial data