Credit: VANITYMARK
Welcome to the first-ever Hollywood Eyebrow Awards! Finally, a ceremony that understands that in the business of show, what you’ve got going on above your eyes is way more important than what’s going on behind them, particularly if not very much is. From Joan Crawford’s bold, determined brows in \"Mildred Pierce\" to Cher’s Oscar-worthy uni-brow in \"Moonstruck\" to Meryl Streep’s subtle but withering arch acting in \"The Devil Wears Prada,\" eyebrows have been a part of the fabric of Hollywood, both on screen and off, since the beginning of movies. So it’s high time they got their own trophy. Introducing ... the Plucky.Credit: VANITYMARK |
Freedman’s belief in the Power of Brow is fervent and steadfast. “Brows are the one part of your face you can really change without plastic surgery,” says Freedman who began honing his mad skills on his sister’s giant Barbie head when he was just 9 years old. “Brows are a big, big deal.”";
eyebrow_awards[i++] = new Array("","Brow of the moment","","","","", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "");
eyebrow_awards[i-1].body = "
This award goes to an entertainer who not only possesses flawless, enviable arches but also has a red-hot career. “These are the gals whose picture you tear out In Style and take it your beauty practitioner to emulate,” explains Freedman. “Our reigning brow role models, if you will.”
And the nominees are: Hayden Panettiere, Halle Berry, Eva Longoria and Jennifer Lopez.
And the Plucky goes to: Halle Berry
“Hayden represents the new guard in brow beauty; a bit of the full side yet perfectly arched,” says Freedman. “Those brows could save the world.”
Then why didn’t Hayden win? “Because Halle makes brow beauty look effortless and she’s been doing so since the '90s. In fact, her brows were the only part of 'Catwoman' that worked. She’s natural but with a hint of glamour. And with a kid on the way, this could be her last shot in this category.”
";
eyebrow_awards[i++] = new Array("","Against all odds","","","","", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "");
eyebrow_awards[i-1].body = "
This award goes to a starlet who always manages to give good brow even though her personal life is a steaming hot mess.
The nominees are: Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie.
And the Plucky goes to: Lindsay Lohan
“Paris is a close second,” concedes Freedman. “Her brows are perfectly lovely but they were sort of handed down to her. Heiress brows, if you will. Lindsay, on the other hand, comes from a more hardscrabble brow background and really had to work to achieve brow greatness. What’s more, Lindsay changes her hair color more than she changes rehab facilities and yet her brows always manage to keep up color-wise, even when she’s exhausted, de-hydrated or just plain high.
“I really want to give this award to Nicole,” admits Freedman, “but with that deep side-swept bang she’s sporting, we haven’t seen her brows in months. And Britney, God bless her, may be shaving hers off as we speak.”
";
eyebrow_awards[i++] = new Array("","The boardroom brow","","","","", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "");
eyebrow_awards[i-1].body = "
This award goes lady powerbroker who shows us that just because you wield enormous global influence doesn’t mean you have to have man-brows.
And the nominees are: Hillary Clinton, Condoleezza Rice, Oprah Winfrey and Martha Stewart.
And the Plucky goes to: Oprah Winfrey
“Oprah’s hairdos change like the weather but her brows consistently deliver,” says Freedman. “Plus, I’m afraid of what would happen to me if Oprah doesn’t win something.”
Freedman has praise for Hillary, too, saying, \"Politicians don’t always have the luxury of the two hour pit crew when they’re on the campaign trail, but I’m impressed with Hillary. She probably has to do her own hair and makeup a lot of the time, yet her brows look positively presidential.” ";
eyebrow_awards[i++] = new Array("","Boy face / girl brow","","","","", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "");
eyebrow_awards[i-1].body = "
Now it’s time for the Pluckys to go co-ed. “It’s not just gay men and metro-sexuals in Hollywood who pay attention to their brows,” says Freedman. “Sometimes though, the guys get a bit carried away.” This Plucky goes to a man about town whose brows are just too coiffed to be forgiven.
And the nominees are: Julian McMahon, Joey Lawrence, Jesse Metcalfe and Zak Efron.
And the plucky goes to: Joey Lawrence
“He really goes above and beyond in the brow-shaping department,” says Freedman. “His next show should be called 'Stenciling with the Stars.'”
With guys, Freedman stresses, there’s a big difference between grooming (good!) and sculpting (not so good!). “You want to clean the brows up a bit,” he says, “but you don’t want to look too precise because it draws the attention away from your performance, which is why I can’t tell you what Jesse’s storyline was on 'Desperate Housewives.'” Good brow role models for men, says Freedman, are Tom Cruise and George Clooney. “Their brows always look groomed but also full and masculine looking.”
He adds, “I was going to nominate Carrot Top in this category because his brows look like they landed on his face from another planet, but that would be like shooting trout in a barrel. Plus, Carrot Top catches enough flack from the media without me grabbing a torch and chasing him through the village.”";
eyebrow_awards[i++] = new Array("","You've come a long way baby","","","","", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "");
eyebrow_awards[i-1].body = "
This award goes to a celebrity who was extremely brow-challenged early in their career but has since blossomed into a bona fide brow role model.
And the nominees for are: Julia Roberts, Reba McEntire, Queen Latifah and Sarah Jessica Parker.
And the plucky goes to: Sarah Jessica Parker
“I just watched a bootleg DVD of SJP in that old TV show 'Square Pegs' and her brows were so big and bushy, I thought it was shot in 3-D,” marvels Freedman. “Those things were coming right at me. And now, Sarah’s a full-on fashion icon, which proves that there’s hope for us all.
“The difference between a sort of working, character actress and a full-fledged starlet is that one has a glam squad and the other has to fend for her herself,” says Freedman. “Girl next door types like Sandra Bullock tend to flounder longer than out-of-the-gate Glamazons like Angelina Jolie and Charlize Theron. But these same quirky charmers eventually get it together and we love them all the more for it.”";
eyebrow_awards[i++] = new Array("","Cry for help","","","","", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "");
eyebrow_awards[i-1].body = "
This is a unisex award and it goes to a celebrity who needs some serious brow love — stat. “Just give me 10 minutes with them,” pleads Freedman. “All right, I might need 15 for the kid from Entourage.”
And the nominees are: Lili Taylor, Donald Trump, Adrien Grenier and Whoopi Goldberg.
And the Plucky goes to: Lili Taylor
“Guys can get away with bushy brows,” says Freedman, “but women have it tougher, especially when they’re on Lifetime television for women, a jury of their peers, if you will. Lili, let’s have lunch and we’ll have a good ol’ fashioned ‘Come to Jesus’ chat about your arches.
“Whoopi has taken herself out of the game by losing the brows completely,” says Freedman. “They’re not too big. They’re not too small. They’re gone. Yet, somehow she pulls it off.” ";
eyebrow_awards[i++] = new Array("","Living legend","","","","", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "", "");
eyebrow_awards[i-1].body = "
This prize goes to an artist who has done more than look just pretty. They’ve been an ambassador for brow awareness and taught us all to never underestimate the power of a striking pair of arches.
And the nominees are: Madonna, Brooke Shields, Jennifer Lopez and Cher.
And the Plucky goes to: Brooke Shields
“Madonna’s the queen of brow reinvention, always right in step with each new look,” says Freedman, “but I’m giving this one to Brooke Shields because more ink has been spilled about her brows than all the other nominees combined. After the over-plucked disco era, Brooke brought us back to a fuller, more ‘real’ look in the '80s. Not everyone embraced it — her brows were the butt of a few jokes — but she stuck to her guns and by simply being herself, she unwittingly became a eyebrow icon.”
Accepting the Plucky for Brooke Shields is Brooke Shields! “I beat Madonna?” asks Shields via text message. “Wow. I’m so thrilled to receive this award. My brows are smiling, arch to arch.”
Whew! Well, that brings us to the end of the first-ever Hollywood Eyebrow Awards. A big congrats to all our winners and nominees and a special thanks to Brett Freedman from Vanitymark.com for his expert insight and pointed one-liners. See you next year and remember: The eyes are the windows to the soul, but no one’s gonna notice them if your brows are all jacked up. Goodnight!
";
// END editorial data