Introduction
Fans of science fiction and luddites alike know that technology will cause the end of everything wholesome — and it will happen in one of two ways.
It could be that the Internet becomes self-aware and sends the governor of California back naked through time to kill Sarah Connor.
Or, if your grandparents are to be believed, \"kids these days\" are twisted beyond redemption and/or put at risk by new technology that supports online predators, isolates nerdy computer gamers or lets kids send nudie pics of themselves to one another (as if teens need much help making poor decisions about sex).
However, smart sci-fi points out that technology is just a tool to magnify our abilities.
Sometimes, unfortunately, it magnifies the inconvenient truth that given chainsaws in the garden of Eden, we'll decide we want to cut stuff down ... or juggle.
Here are some technologies that drive the point home and will make you want to either retire to your bomb shelter or just hang your head in shame.";
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Tech_EndtimeGagets[i-1].body = "
A robot girlfriend
SEGA just introduced the E.M.A (which stands for Eternal Maiden Actualization ... which in turn stands for \"real women scare us\").
She's a tiny robot \"girlfriend\" and she goes on sale in September for around $175, targeted primarily at ... stay with me here ... lonely adult technophiles.
Even though it's a robot (and robots always turn on us), this falls solidly into the “kids these days” category of world-enders. Though she's only around 15 inches tall, E.M.A. does important girlfriend stuff like dance, hand out business cards, \"kiss\" and run on batteries.
If you're into dating an executive's desk lamp, your dreams have been answered.
However, I think you can do better. Let me give you a piece of advice about your washing machine. It too requires zero emotional intelligence, but she'll do more than kiss if you lean on her just so — and if you play your cards right, she'll probably clean your clothes, too.";
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BigDog
Say hello to your future robot overlord: BigDog. His designers at Boston Dynamics hail him as, \"The Most Advanced Quadruped Robot on Earth.\" I'm calling him \"death on the hoof.\"
If I've learned anything from watching too many movies, it's that Jerry Bruckheimer likes to blow crap up. If I've learned anything else, it's that you can't trust robots.
The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (the central research and development organization for the Department of Defense), who incidentally funded the creation of the Internet, now funds this .7-meter-tall, 1-meter-long mechanical quadruped designed to traverse all manner of terrain. Thanks, that just means we'll have nowhere to hide.
At about 39 seconds into a creepy video demonstrating BigDog’s abilities, Boston Dynamic's mechanical golem takes a kick in the ribs from one of its handlers.(He may be testing BigDog’s ability to right itself but probably just sealed his position high up on BigDog's kill list.)
If you're like me, when you watch this video, you’ll hold your breath and wait for the robo-behemoth to melt the kicking dude's face with microwaves or crush his head with the simple expedient of a metal-shod boot to the dome.
He did neither ... yet. ";
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Takara Tomy's RPG piggy bank
Is cash not valuable enough to you in its own right? Then perhaps you need a piggy bank that increases its value by making it the medium of exchange in a role-playing game.
This \"kids these days\" world-ender adds to the value of cash (of all things!) by using your imagination. Seriously, if we we’ve forgotten money’s worth, the economic end-of-days is well on its way.
BankQuest, designed by Takara Tomy and priced at (only?) $49.82, creates a game where the money you save purchases imaginary crap for your imaginary character in the imaginary world of the piggy bank's RPG.
Seriously, isn’t $49.82 a lot of money for this nonsense?
On the other hand, at least you get to keep all the money you're spending in this game, and no one unexpectedly nerfs your paladin like in World of Warcraft. Also, to be fair, this is a kid's toy.";
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HDTV
I'm going way out on a limb here, but HDTV makes me despair.
It's the Emperor's New Clothes. The picture is about $50 better, but the gear can cost an extra couple of thousand. Just looking on BestBuy.com, I found that a 20\" HDTV runs a little under twice the cost of the comparable standard set. Expensive TVs used to cost about $400 to $500 and now they run into the tens of thousands of dollars.
So how come we're presented this enticing opportunity to spend so much more of our money and get so little in return? After all, while it's great for soccer and polar bears, it makes actors look uglier. Meanwhile, it makes manufacturers look richer (if perhaps also more venal.
Is it possible this HD revolution is better for the ruling class than the average TV viewer?
Anyway, we've swallowed it hook, line and sinker. HDTV isn't ruining civilization, but the fact that we're falling for it means the apocalypse is probably in the mail by way of another mortgage debacle or Ponzi scheme.
This kid's coloring book with Heidi the HD Hippo is amusing. It does a good job of explaining some basic facts about HD though, so have a good time. Just don't spend your time drawing 1,080 dots in the box.";
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RepRap
You hear a lot about computers waking up one day and deciding they don't want to balance your damn spreadsheets. Then they take over the world or eject you from an airlock.
What sci-fi doesn't explain, though, is why a computer develops human desires for freedom and self-control. Why not take on dog-like characteristics and build a fusion-powered derrière to drag across a silicon carpet? Ah, bliss! GoTo 10, repeat.
Human and animal goals are set by evolution. Whatever goals help an animal, bacterium, or (now) object replicate itself are passed into the offspring. So far our robots and their brains are unaffected by evolution because WE build THEM.
Until now. The mad scientists at RepRap went and modified their \"rapid prototype\" machines so they'll be able to reproduce themselves. RepRap encourages you to think of a rapid prototyper as a 3D printer that uses plastic instead of paper and ink. So far so good. The problem, they say, is that a prototyper costs around 30,000 Euros — at current exchange rates that's ... well, more than you can afford at any rate.
So what do they do? To offset costs, the designers devised a way to let machines copy themselves. What could possibly be better than self-reproducing machines hungry for resources?";
// END editorial data