From dangerous roads, crime-ridden cities, and countries overrun with disease to depressing destinations, polluted beaches and places that literally stink, travel expert Peter Greenberg leaves no stone unturned to list the locations you should forget even exist.
Backed up by information he has been compiling for years, Greenberg's book, \"Don't Go There\", shares information to help you avoid vacation tragedy. Here, he writes about cities with the lamest claims to fame: from the “Sink Hole Capital” to the “Armpit of America”, these are places that may make you chuckle, but may not be the best vacation destinations.
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Gilroy, Calif.
I have nothing against quaint little farming communities. But unless you really, really love garlic, there's not much else going on in Gilroy, aka the self-proclaimed \"Garlic Capital of the World.\" And they've taken things a little too far. They even sell garlic ice cream in Gilroy. I'll take two scoops ... not.";
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Delaware
Delaware is known as \"the First State\" -- not because it was the first state, but because it was the first of the 13 original states to ratify the U.S. Constitution in ... oh, sorry, I just fell asleep writing that. That's it? Is that all that Delaware could come up with? That's sad. ... ";
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Fountain, Minn.
I think it's bad enough that the folks of Fountain, Minn., thought it was a great idea to print a brochure touting this place as the \"Sink Hole Capitol [sic] of the USA.\" Then, they actually made things worse: To illustrate and support their claim, the brochure's cover sports little children riding bicycles. My advice: If you're still determined to go there, leave the bikes at home. The sink holes are \"the most dominant land form in this area.\" And I'm quoting from the brochure!";
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Berrien Springs, Mich.
If you know what a Christmas pickle is, you're halfway there. It's great when towns hold on to their history, and the Christmas pickle (an ornament hidden in Christmas trees) is an old German-American tradition. But if you somehow find yourself at the annual Christmas Pickle Festival, do me a favor and don't get so caught up in the action that you come home with a suitcase full of glass Christmas pickles. Trust me, they won't look so cute when you're outside of Berrien Springs.";
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Eau Claire, Mich.
Is there not enough to do in this part of Michigan? Eau Claire is a village located in east central Berrien County. It also claims to be the \"Cherry–Pit-Spitting Capital of the World.\" And when you think about how lame that is, who would ever want to challenge that claim? Enough said. ...";
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Battle Mountain, Nev.
In 2001, the Washington Post dubbed Battle Mountain, Nev., “the Armpit of America.” This tiny mining community (population: 2,871), located about 200 miles east of Reno, beat out other top contenders, such as East St. Louis, Ill.; Elizabeth, N.J.; and Fargo, N.D. Well, the following year, Battle Mountain took ownership and threw -- what else? -- an Armpit Festival, sponsored by -- who else? -- Old Spice. The event drew thousands of participants and featured a deodorant-tossing competition and a “sweat” T-shirt contest. Out-of-towners, who obviously had nothing better to do, were welcomed by a billboard that read, \"Make us your Pit Stop!\" Sadly, at least for Battle Mountain, the once-annual event is now defunct, which means that there once again may be no reason to go to Battle Mountain.";
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Beaver, Okla.
The town of Beaver is proud of its title: \"Cow-Chip-Throwing Capital of the World.\" If you have the desire to reach for the stars yourself, you can enter the World Championship Cow Chip Throw, held every April. Just don't be scared off by the statue of a plucky beaver clutching a giant cow chip.";
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Ashland, Va.
Unless you can chart the entire universe and pinpoint Ashland, this city's claim to be the \"Center of the Universe\" has its flaws. And if it's true, then God has a wicked sense of humor indeed.";
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Coalinga, Calif.
Ribbit, ribbit! Do you like horned toads? Enough actually to watch horned toads race against one another? Coalinga, Calif., throws the Annual Horned Toad Derby, in which live horned toads compete. Unless you've already placed your bet, skip rooting for \"Sir Toady.\"";
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International Falls, Minn.
The Freeze Yer Gizzard Blizzard Run in International Falls, Minn., is just that: a frigid 5-K or 10-K run. But it also comes with other goodies, such as snow sculpting and -- drumroll, please -- frozen-turkey bowling.";
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Luling, Texas
Each year, Luling, Texas hosts the Luling Watermelon Thump festival. It comes complete with magicians, mimes, fire-eaters, a champion melon contest and auction, a world champion seed-spitting contest, a melon-eating contest, and much, much more. Instead of seeing how far you can spit a watermelon seed, take my advice and buy some watermelon when you get home.";
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Anniston, Ala.
You may have missed the announcement, but Anniston is the current reigning champion of the ongoing \"World's Largest Office Chair\" competition. This is a century-old battle, which started in Gardner, Mass., in 1906 (12 feet). Thomasville, N.C., entered the fight with a chair that measured 13 feet, 6 inches. The title went from South to North and back again and again, breaking many a Guinness World Record. But the South rose again, and in 1981, Miller's Office Furniture of Anniston, Ala., built a 31-foot-tall office chair that put the town on the map.";
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Kansas
It's hard to narrow down just which Kansas town has the lamest claim to fame. The world's largest ball of twine? Cawker City. Home to the world's largest hand-dug well? That title belongs to Greensburg. The world's largest easel? Goodland. The state with the motto \"As Big As You Think\" is so eager to be noticed that the Kansas Arts Commission gave a grant to World's Largest Things, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helps communities develop their own \"largest thing.\" How about the world's largest absurd excuse for going somewhere?";
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Chepachet, R.I.
If, for some reason, you find yourself in Chepachet, R.I., you'll be faced with a most perplexing statue in front of the town hall. Imagine that Mr. Potato Head and an elephant had a baby. Well, you don't have to imagine -- it exists, and she's named Betty, the Learned Elephant. That’s right, this 6-foot-tall statue was erected in 2000 as part of a statewide tourism campaign -- \"Rhode Island: The Birthplace of Fun\" -- which placed 47 Mr. and Mrs. Potato Heads all over the state. (To be fair, the Potato Head family was born in Pawtucket, R.I.) So why an elephant? The real Betty was a pachyderm that arrived in Chepachet in 1822 from Calcutta, India, as part of a traveling circus, but was shot and killed 4 years later on a bridge over the Chepachet River. On the 150th anniversary of Betty's death -- May 25, 1976 -- a day of observance was officially declared ... Elephant Day!";
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Dongguan, China
Even though the South China Mall is the world’s largest mall, you're probably better off shopping till you drop at your local shopping center. Dubbed \"the Ghost Mall,\" this venue has space to hold 1,500 stores, but it houses fewer than 12. It does sound appealing, though, complete with bumper cars, a Venetian canal, an indoor rain forest, an outdoor roller coaster, and even an 85-foot replica of the Arc de Triomphe. But the place is so devoid of customers that some employees kill time by folding origami, while others simply sleep on the job!
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Sedlec, Czech Republic
Most people feel pacified after visiting a heavenly sanctuary -- be it a synagogue, church, mosque, or temple -- but once you eye the Sedlec Ossuary chapel's chandelier, you're likely to experience nausea rather than enlightenment. Located in Sedlec, Czech Republic, this church's chandelier doesn't drip with crystals; instead, it's freakishly crafted out of bones -- at least one of every bone in the human body is incorporated. The church's entire interior is decorated with the remains of more than 40,000 people. Talk about creepy!
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Columbus, Ga.
Unless you have fond memories of your mom leaving little notes in your lunch pail and need to be a know-it-all about the history of toting school lunches, you might as well pass up the Lunchbox Museum in Columbus, Ga. It features thousands of lunchboxes and items like thermoses, lunch trays, and coolers, but it's two sandwiches short of a picnic, so your best bet? Save the money you would have spent on admission and buy a PB&J.
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Allenstown, N.H.
The Snowmobile Museum in Allenstown, N.H., has -- you guessed it -- snowmobiles: big ones, small ones, old ones, new ones, a homemade one, and even a first-aid snow-cruiser emergency one. But if you're visiting New Hampshire during the winter holidays, wouldn't you rather ride a snowmobile?
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TDY_DontGoThere_081111[i-1].body = "Mitchell, S.D.
Gaudy, clashing, and downright corny, the Corn Palace in Mitchell, S.D., is exactly what you would expect from the \"Corn Capital of the World.\" Its fiasco of pseudo-Russian onion towers and mosaics -- constructed out of thousands of bushels of corn, grain, wild oats, and other foodstuffs -- makes this building an eyesore. The admission is free, but you're better off visiting the Mount Rushmore National Memorial.
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Edinburgh, Scotland
Perhaps once state-of-the-art, the Edinburgh Dungeon traces the history of medieval torture devices, but the exhibits lack thrill, as they are merely dusty replicas. For example, Animatronic rats trapped in a metal cage pretend-gnaw on a mannequin’s stomach -- one technique for punishing a \"criminal.\" And the \"adventurous\" water ride takes you what feels like 50 feet -- basically a low-budget ride from one room to another.";
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As \"the world's most traveled man,\" Charles Veley, notes, Clipperton is one of the toughest places to visit, mainly because of its way-off-the-radar location: It's a whopping 700 miles off the Mexican Pacific coast. Known for its barren landscape of crags and caves, and the sheer, utter isolation that has driven even the burliest adventurers mad, this uninhabitable island makes Alcatraz feel like a cozy, welcoming getaway.
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Once hailed as the \"Queen of the Coast\" during the 1930s and '40s, Atlantic City, N.J., is overwhelmed with casinos, including three Trump Entertainment Resorts and four Harrah’s Entertainment properties. No longer in its heyday, this gambling corridor is banking on building more casinos to entice travelers. But if you're going to chance breaking your own bank, you might as well visit world-famous restaurants, entertainment and casinos in Las Vegas.
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No more than a blip in the occasional New York State guidebook, Elmira is known as Tommy Hilfiger's birthplace and the burial place of Mark Twain. Perhaps the only intrigue for travelers is the Woodlawn Cemetery, where Twain's burial site resides. Elmira is also fraught with an extreme cat population problem, so much so that the state legislators are trying to give Elmira permission to trap, neuter or spay, and return the cats.
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No, it's not in Mexico. This travesty of a tourist attraction is located on the border of North Carolina and South Carolina. It's a combination of a Mexican restaurant, theme park, and truck stop straddling the border -- and it's the epitome of where not to go on a road trip.
Put simply, this decidedly unauthentic location is nothing less than a tourist trap marked by every racist stereotype you can imagine about the Mexican community.
Let's start with the attraction's Web site, Pedroland.com. Its welcome message is, verbatim:
\"BUENS DIAS, AMIGO! pedro VER' GLAD YOU COME!! pedro got 112 meelion amigos, who stay weeth heem, opp teel now all satisfy come back, send frans ... thees make pedro ver' HAPPEE ... like for frans come back all time ... pedro hope YOU make 112 meelion and wan happee amigos! you come back soon, too, yes?\"
It doesn't end there. The stock image of Pedro? A sombrero-wearing man snoozing soundly against a cactus.
Pedroland Park is a lame assortment of bumper cars, a Ferris wheel and a rousing glass elevator ride up the 200-foot-tall Sombrero Tower. (But, hey, according to its brochure, \"pedro has sometheeng for every juan.\" Get it? Every juan?)
Oh, and if you're so inclined, you can putt a round or two at the Golf of Mexico. There are also six forgettable restaurants (if you eat there, there's a possibility you really will feel Montezuma’s revenge) and, of course, a plethora of chintzy souvenir shops with appealing names such as Myrtle Beach Shop, El Drug Store and the Leather Shop (don't ask).
If you're driving down Interstate 95, you definitely cannot avoid the countless billboards announcing that South of the Border is up ahead. But you can -- and should -- avoid South of the Border itself, unless you really want your picture taken under the giant Pedro in the oversize sombrero next to a plastic pink flamingo.
";
// END editorial data