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Ent_FiveTop_071030.sPubDate = "10/30/2007 7:13:56 PM GMT";
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Ent_FiveTop_071030.appFooter = " Dave White is the author of “Exile in Guyville.” Find him at www.imdavewhite.com";
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Ent_FiveTop_071030[i-1].body = "Wicked Witch of the West, “The Wizard of Oz.”
You know what’s wrong with this world? “Wicked.” Okay, truthfully, I haven’t read the book, which could be awesome for all I know, but any Broadway musical that wants me to identify with someone bad just because they’re misunderstood and/or green and does so with that terrible Broadway music, is just as terrifying to me as the sight of the original witch, Margaret Hamilton, getting all close up in the camera and laughing her shrieky laugh. When I was four years old that woman gave me real nightmares. If I want to be best buds with a green person, I’ll take Kermit The Frog.";
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Ent_FiveTop_071030[i-1].body = "Patrick Bateman, “American Psycho”
Like Jigsaw, Patrick Bateman is a deranged murderer. But the similarities end there. Christian Bale’s Bateman doesn’t hang out in dank basements devising torture implements. He lives in a fancy place with Robert Longo paintings and listens to Huey Lewis. He wears nice suits and has a big brick-like 1980s mobile phone. In fact, he’s barely the kind of horror monster people most people enjoy because he acts and looks like everything most people want to be. In other words, he’s about the banality of evil and the commodification of doom. Best of all, he cleans up after himself.";
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Ent_FiveTop_071030[i-1].body = "Annie Wilkes, “Misery”
What’s truly amazing about Kathy Bates’s performance in this film is how much she is like virtually every person I talk to when I make periodic visits to my home state of Texas. The folks back home want to know what star I stood behind in line at the supermarket in Hollywood. I tell them who (Reese! Jm J. Bullock! A guy from “Hogan’s Heroes”!) and their eyes light up with a kind of glee that, given enough time to ferment, could turn cannibalistic and foot-mangling with not a lot of assistance. In other words, it’s a movie every aspiring star should take to heart.
";
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Ent_FiveTop_071030[i-1].body = "The Heathers, “Heathers”
Oh, you saw “Mean Girls?” That’s nice. It was hilarious how everyone learned a lesson at the end and decided to value each other’s differences. Meanwhile, that’s all a big fat lie. Actual mean girls (and boys) take years to learn those lessons and most never do. That’s the brilliance of “Heathers.” It knows that nothing ever changes and manages to shred sacred teenage totems — popularity and social pariah status traumas — while lampooning suicide and murder in a way that’s still brutally funny almost 20 years later. Its pre-Columbine fixation on revenge means it could never be made today. Like “Welcome to The Dollhouse,” an even darker film about similar stuff, we’re lucky it exists.";
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Ent_FiveTop_071030[i-1].body = "The birds, “The Birds”
It came after “Godzilla,” if you’re talking about environment-turning-against-humanity films. And it came before the mega-blockbuster-defining “Jaws.” But here’s why those birds are more evil than either of those dudes: Gojira (his given name in Japanese — I’m a purist) eventually turned friendly, a hero to children everywhere, which is fine but doesn’t give you a lot of street cred. And Jaws got himself blown up at the end of his first movie, a bad career choice. But those birds? None of them die. In fact, they win at the end and chase every human out of town. If they could talk, they would have said, “How ya like me now?!”";
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