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Ent_FiveTop_070514.sPubDate = "5/14/2007 7:32:12 PM GMT";
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Ent_FiveTop_070514.appFooter = " By Mary Beth Ellis";
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Ent_FiveTop_070514[i-1].body = "Thumbelina
Hans Christian Anderson’s Thumbelina was all of an inch tall, and spent her days rowing around on a flower leaf in a saucer. Nice work if you can get it. If two-foot-eight Verne Troyer of Mini Me fame is weary of donning a skull cap and rapping with Mike Myers, perhaps he would prefer some voiceover work. It’s a tremendous opportunity to tower over his character.";
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Ent_FiveTop_070514[i-1].body = "Evil Stepmother
All “Shrek” offerings serve up at least one evil queen and a couple of wicked stepsisters, but we have no momma to have made them so. Bring on the nasty that is Daddy’s new wife! We want to hate her and her spin classes! Make her Botoxed and tanned and totally unable to add in her head! Make her... Paris Hilton.
";
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Ent_FiveTop_070514[i-1].body = "Beast
Beast (of \"Beauty and the Beast\") is old school. He did not spring, fully formed, to the Disney screen in the same scary-dog-thing-transformed-to-handsome-prince film. No, Beast has been around since at least the 1700s, and so, by nearly all accounts, has Casey Kasem. Request and dedication: Lay down the Shaggy mantle, Casey, and pick up Beast’s. Oh, and if you can swing a “Saved By the Bell” Zack Attack reunion tour while you’re at it, so much the better.
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Ent_FiveTop_070514[i-1].body = "Henchmen
Your average evil henchmen get the shaft, often quite literally. They do all the dirty work, receive low pay in lousy working conditions, exist largely to get yelled at, and they all were apparently trained to aim by Stevie Wonder. I say we give all flying monkeys, faceless knights and king’s archers a complete jazzing-up. Throw the Barenaked Ladies in there. At least they’ll have interesting throwaway lines. None of this “Die, you scum!” for the Ladies; they’ll offer you a Fruit Roll-Up.";
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Ent_FiveTop_070514[i-1].body = "Tinker Bell
Peter Pan has made it to the great playing field of Shrekdom, but poor Tink was left, as always, holding his Gatorade. Disney would have you believe that she really can talk, and is going to release a Brittany Murphy-voiced computer animated movie in an attempt to market her as such, but you and I know better: The pixie has no pipes. She speaks entirely in glares and 'tude. For the voice of Tink, I think some gender-bending is called for here. I say we haul in the cheerful, chime-y Neighborhood Trolley from \"Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood.\" Trolley and Tink. If not a successful “Shrek” pairing, they’re at least good for a raft of ironic T-shirts.";
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